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joke thread |
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malaguista
Home away from home
Joined: 14-Mar-2006
Posts: 1176
From: Spain
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Posted: 2006-03-23 07:23
I posted the comment referring to all of the jokes not just the last one and while I agree that there were some very funny ones, I am not sure that this is the place for them.
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deow
Just popping in
Joined: 14-Mar-2006
Posts: 6
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Posted: 2006-03-24 12:06
A blonde goes into a store and says i want that tv. The cashier says we don't sell to blondes.
That night she dyes her hair red.The next day she goes in and says the same thing. The cashier says we don't sell to blondes.
That night she dyes her hair black. The next day she goes in and says the same thing. The cashier says we don't sell to blondes.
She says how do you know i'm blonde. He says 'thats a microwave'.
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kingoftherack
Just can't stay away
Joined: 14-Mar-2006
Posts: 95
From: Reading
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Posted: 2006-03-24 16:38
Computer Diagnosis
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."
Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."
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Shooter
Home away from home
Joined: 14-Mar-2006
Posts: 517
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Posted: 2006-03-25 00:51
Just to keep it pool! Old I know! Jon. We all know him!  [ This message was edited by: Administrator on 2012-10-06 03:59 ]
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BigDave
Forum User
Joined: 13-Mar-2006
Posts: 11008
From: England
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Posted: 2012-11-08 13:36
Definitely not pool, but hysterical all the same... http://blackacrebrewing.com/home/Click on "I AM UNDER 21" -----------------  Authorised Pro9 forum advertiser/sponsor
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billiardbloke
Home away from home
Joined: 28-Sep-2010
Posts: 316
From: The Black Country
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Posted: 2012-11-08 15:00
What is E.T. short for?
Because he only has little legs
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